I should probably be doing Hw not this

As sick as I was over this years pathetic holliday, I took more than a few hours to study up on a "certain brand" of which a "certain store" that I "might work at" started to carry. I used a resource called 3point5. (This is an online training website for outdoor products. The incentive is to learn about their products, so you can sell them better, and receive an extreem discount after they test your knowledge as an employee.) So I took to the task and filled my brain with useless bike technology terms, like Energy Transfer Seat Stays, Torrential stiffness weight reduction, Asymmetric/Differential chain stay, D6 High modulus carbon. Interesting stuff really. I became the websites top performer.

All this means is I waisted 2 hours taking the test over and over again until I had the fastest completed time. But at least if someone ask me which bike has the most travel for all mountain riding, I don't just have to say, we don't sell bikes that awesome, but I can name the specific bike we don't have for them, and then sugest a bike with less travel..

To say the least, This really built up my confidence in this "certain brand" of bikes, until this morning on fb... 

Im going to pretend I didn't see that. And continue not buying carbon.

In Fact, that leads me to my next thingy. Steel. Awaiting for one of these to come in. =DDD

Kung Fu Primate

First single speed 29er. Building on a "budget". Karate Monkey FTW! More to come when that comes.

Also, I have been racing the short track. Its terribly not fun as always. I love it.

So much to catch up on, happy new year!

So I'm sitting here with a 100º fever, hacking my lungs up and wishing I could ride my bike. I don't really feel like writing much, partially because this headache isn't letting me think so clearly, and partially because I'm too feble to type. However, I have so much to catchup up on for my large crowd of 3 or 4 followers, I feel obligated to tell you about the past week. It will probably help take my mind off how horrible this sore throat is.

Okay I won't mention my sickness again. But if you have the choice, take my advise and don't get the flu. It's rather bad.

Well, to start things off, during the "last night of the world" (December 21st) I finally did what I've always wanted to do. No, I didn't get to round house kick a werwolf or go haywire in a wine store with a baseball bat. But I did get to jump over fire!

It's wimpy I know..

It was pretty great. Later on we tried looking for some meteor that was so pose to be passing by the earth and the moon at 11:16 or something. I believe we stared at a lone star for about 30 minutes until we realized it was a hoax. Imagine that. "Oh wait it just moved!", "I think it's getting brighter!", "Its defiantly flickering differently than the other stars!". Nope. Well, I guess stars play tricks on you.

I've moved on temporarily from the pink grips. Though the pink grips were the best ever, I've Decided to match for once in my life. Part of my christmas present to myself. Exciting I know.

This is a clock.

I started making more bicycle art! That is a clock. You know, the things with dials that turn on a motor. Some of you digital aged whippersnappers might learn about them in history class one day. 

Modern art?

And that would be "modern" art. Because it evokes an emotion, it tells a story, and connects with it's viewer. It's very expressionistic, and it helps the viewer decide what the art is about on a very personal level of profound idealist values.

Just kidding, thats a load of crap. I made it how it is because it looks super dope.

Oh Christmas I road 30 miles at Colonel Beatty Park to help work up my appetite. Not the best park for mountain biking, due to it's inconsiderably insane amount of roots. I believe there are more roots in the 5 miles of that park then there are in 3 full laps of Shermans Branch. Anyhow, 6 laps later and I was boarder than a 2x6. (Haha im so funny) At least I got to ride my bike on christmas though, I would have rather rode at any other trail anywhere ever, but Colonel Beatty is the only trail I don't respect enough to not ride within 24hrs after rain.

lovely mud lines.

I recently picked up a trainer from the shop. It's so pose to be for my Dad to help with recovery from his broken foot injury. But it's been neglected in the garage for a little too long. So I decided to try it out, despite how many friends have told me how awful trainers are, I found it was rather nice. Or at least it was nice because I was watching breaking bad. lol

Yea, I thought I looked good too, so I set up the tripod...

But seriously, It would have been the stupidest thing ever if it wasn't for my laptop.

And finally, I hit my goal! Actually I went over my goal! by a mile... And it was just a day before I came down with this flu. Good for me. Okay now I'm going to go sleep because I feel like crap. Oh sorry I wasn't so pose to mention that again.

Whoooho!

Ouchie

So far I've stuck well to the whole plan of getting to one thousand miles. Currently, with photographic evidence...

Now if I just don't get too lazy with my new netflix subscription, which bytheway, rocks. But has left me sleeping in to like 11am. That's so abnormal for me, but, but, breaking bad is just soo good!

I did have a slight setback sunday. Which is really calling it more than it is. But I needed an excuse to not ride.

As I was about to enter the trail at the park, like, I havent even seen the stupid trail yet, I had this stupid crash. It was like so stupid. The trail is right off the park road, and I usually swing way left in the road, and cut a sharp right turn into the trailhead so I don't loose much momentum. I do this so often, I don't think about it much anymore. It's like one of the absid minded things, or a routine of some sort, you don't have to think of how you're going to do it, muscle memory just kicks in and you don't really focus on what is it your doing.

Anyhow, back to the story, I did this exact same "routine turn" and immediately was thrown to the ground. My ignorant self was absent to the fact that the ground was still wet. Wet surfaces tend to be slicker than dry ones. So to look on the bright side of life, my wounds are probably not as bad as they could be if the ground was dry and a bit rougher? lol

Showers have felt like mean people shooting acid into my skin or something

After a few terribly uncensored sentences of which hopefully nobody could hear, I quickly got up, and tried not to look like a noob. Walked my bike to the edge of the road and sat down, trying to shake off the sting. Right as I did so, a small truck drove by me. I pretended to not noticed, I hate when people ask If im okay when I so clearly am. It feels like your mother asking if you need your diaper changed or something of the sort. The truck passed, and I was like "sheww, they don't care!" but then it came to a stop. And turned around... -_-

I put on the biggest phony ass smile you'd ever seen. I said, "Thanks so much for turning around, but I'm quite alright, just shaking it off for a moment." The lady said, "Ohhh, we thought you were stretching at first, but then it looked like you were hurt, bless your heart, you look terrible!" It was then I noticed I was actually bleeding. Blah blah, more fake talk, they left. It did feel nice to know random people care though. I'd surly stop for someone who looked hurt, it just feels weird and so embarrassing when you're the one on the ground. Thanks random people.

Too bad it wasn't like a herd of hot college girls in their first year of nursing school that stopped. I would have been like awww damn, im so hurt, help me out? Will you drive me to the bandaid store or something? Idk. Better luck next time. 

So apart from the stings and all, my body was really sore the next two days, and I just didn't ride. But I did come close to a full week of riding. Six days in a row is the best riding I've done in a long long time.

• 12 laps at Cornal Beatty
• 4 laps of sherman
• 1 lap of backyard

I thought I'd be sick of beatty's stupid roots by now. I am sick of them acctually. Guess I just came to accept them. But I'm looking forward to some laps at rocky river, and lake norman soon! Soon as this wet stuff disappears again...

The olden golden days

Was taking one of those "flash back" moments on facebook today, you know, when you look at pictures from like 4 years ago.. Well I ran into this video. Really remind me of how bad a dirt jumper I was. Pretty much the said reason I took up XC racing. And why I'm a helluva lot better off not making jumps...




*that scream...*

Watch this next one I put together a few years back. LOL I was better at riding children's bikes. Although this is the second edit, its much shorter and more bearable. Here is the original video for you folks that are mildly entertained.



More Mountain Bike Videos on Pinkbike

Anyhow, I still have my trusty little 12in hot rock. I'm sure my father would like it out of the garage, but thats like the sickest little bike ever. I still ride it on occasion. I think it would be amazing to give to my first child too. You know, to be all like, "Your father road this bike, ride with honor kid". I don't know. In fact, Ill probably have some custom, independent fab frame, custon I9 12in wheels, and little 40mm disk brakes for my kids bike. That would be like the ultimate shizz. All the other kids in the neighborhood would be so jelly.  And he would learn to ride clipless before he even got to kintergarden. When races hold those free one lap kids race, I'd so be "that dad" who give his son hammerjell shots and makes sure his kid lines up first and all. Make sure he wins by at least like half the time it takes most the kids.

If my kid doesn't like to ride bikes im going to shoot myself no kidding.